The Dowry

The dictionary defines a dowry as a gift of money or property given to the groom by the bride at the wedding. It also says it can be a gift given by the suiter to the father of the bride for permission to marry the daughter. Obviously these practices don't really apply anymore - at least one would hope we have travelled out of the dark ages.

My wife and I had a small beautiful wedding with people we love and even though we wish we could have invited more people than our budget had allowed, the gifts were not real high on our priority list. Sure we had a registry, but you should have one for people who would like to buy gifts, to give what you would like.

I recently read an article about worst wedding gifts. My boss walked over while I reading this list and because my eyes were so wide with amazement he said he thought I was looking at porno. After reading this article, I started reading more on my lunch break about other worst wedding gifts. I decided to compile a top-ten worst wedding gifts of all time: And folks, acording to the forums and the stories that went with them, these are supposedly no shit real gifts given to couples - mostly by Mother In Laws, with a couple "gifts from friends" sprinkled in.

"A regifted tray (with the original card to the regifter included with the present)"

"Fertility idol (the one with the huge PENIS sticking out of it)"

"A hand-blown vase that looks like a hookah with a note that says (you'll need this)"

"A really ugly art piece involving a cow tooth"

"A cartoon character cookie jar signed (for the kids) and still having cookie crumbs in the bottom"

"Dollar-store picture frame with price tag still attached"

"Mounted can opener with the UPC code removed (so the giver could get the rebate)"

"An emergency survival kit, which include blank Divorce and Annulment papers. (just in case)"

"Porno Playing Cards"

"A book called Why Men Love Bitches"

I'm not much for wanting to get gifts. I'm the kid that gave my mom a christmas list one year that only had TLC written on it. However moved that she was, she insisted that I make it include objects she could buy, I would have been happy without. Yet, this top-ten contains the equivalent of leaving a couple of dimes and some pocket lint in a restaurant, except with that little extra personal FU flare.

And people wonder why I lose faith in humanity a little more every year.