Alone in the Dark

It never really occurs to me how much I depend on electricity more so than when the power cuts out. Its like somebody takes a knitting needle and pops that perfect bubble of resource consuming reality. With a final bang! from the stereo speakers, there I am, no sounds, no music, no talking, nada. The crickets, frogs and other assorted nighttime noise making creatures seem unaffected by such things. In fact, if anything they seem more invigorated and lively, as if now they finally have a captive audience and they must play their symphonic concerto as if their little lives depend on it. Then I remember watching Animal Planet, and their lives DO depend on it.

It slightly amuses me that even in the dark, I reference TV for mundane things.

Normally when the power goes out, somebody in the room says something along the lines of "just perfect" or "great..." or if you live in my house, any number of brightly colored adjectives that describe our thoughts about the power cutting out. But I was home alone watching TV when the power went out a few nights ago and for a few minutes, I didn't really say or do anything. I just sort of sat there in the dark and stared off into the black abyss that was now my living room. Almost as if the boob tube held a peice of my consciousness inside it when the power went out and now comcast was just holding my soul hostage. If the power never came back on I'd be stuck sitting on the couch crosseyed and devoid of conscious thought.

Soon I twitch and even blink. Not long after that my body stirs and I can look around. It's like a new awakening. Gone is the familiar hum of the 100 AMPs of power coursing through the walls of the house like blood through veins. Gone is the sound of bad acting and commercials convincing me to ask my doctor about viagra, penis enlargement pills, or purple pill fucking nexium. And for one moment I'm glad I don't have to listen to another commercial about throw away mopping pads and toilet bowl brushes that remind me about how irresponsible companies are fucking us out of our civilization's future.

After about five minutes of quiet reflection and bliss, I realize - damn those crickets and frogs are really fucking loud. Plus, I'm bored. There is no light, I couldn't even read if I wanted to. I have no idea where a flashlight is if we even have one. I have candles and no matches. I don't really do any portable gaming and my feet smell. So much for taking a shower. Man they really stink, how did I not notice that before? And those damn frogs and crickets are REALLY LOUD!!! There must be 5000 of them camped DIRECTLY outside the window!

Then I hear a noise outside, like a rustling in leaves, which is probably a snake, but just then I notice a jogger run by in the dark and my spider sense starts tingling with that little robot screaming "Danger Will Robinson!" This is it, they are comming for the cleansing. I am witness to my last few moments and should cling to them like that frog choking that pelican to death as the bird gets ready to eat him with a caption that says "Never Give Up!"

After about an hour of overactive imagination considering things anywhere from "They're comming to get me" to "I wish I could see more stars" or "I bet Brazil is nice this time of year.", I am mentally exhausted. I call my wife using my cell phone which I found after knocking just about every lamp and knick-knack off the coffee and end-tables. I inform her that the power is out and there is no storm or bad weather and that her shows won't be recording tonight. She seems disappointed and hopes she can play Devil May Cry 3 on the Playstation2 when she gets off work. I tell her my feet stink and she says "that's okay sweetie, you'll be fine sleeping on the couch if you can't shower."

After exchanging our I love you's I hang up the phone, let out a deep sigh and roll over and try to get some sleep. I really should learn to be more at home without all this technology anyway. Counter-Strike isn't a sport, Azeroth and Morrowind aren't real vacation destinations and the Stargate program doesn't exist. As a kid I wasn't allowed to watch much TV and was perfectly happy running around in the woods and fields behind our house climing trees and lost in my own imaginary places of Grimm. Thinking back on fond childhood memories and vowing to get out more, I start to drift off to an early bedtime.

In true Jim fashion, nothing ever stays the same long. The power flicks back on, all the lights and the TV turn on, devices start whirring the walls start humming once again. Its like a circus of noise that drowns out the crickets and frogs which I just got used to listening to. All my senses were so slammed I half expected a clown to do a cartwheel in front of my wide startled eyes.

I get up and wander around turning off lights I didn't remember turning on in the first place and sit down in front of the TV. My short attention span fixated on the changing colors and lights once again happily lost in an episode of Futurama. My previous musings about being content without electricity are just a distant mirage in the back of my mind. Besides, the bikes have been sitting so long in the garage, spiders have taken up residence. Who am I to break up a happy home?